Mari Menulis Novel Cinta

[Entri ini adalah kontra kepada Lutfi Amri's Mari Membuang Masa]



Prolog

Mula-mula duduk depan komputer.

Bab 1

Fikirkan tajuk novel anda. Kalau boleh jangan babitkan perkataan cinta, sayang, rindu, hati, asmara, kasih dan sebagainya.

Contoh yang ku gunakan: CUTE!

Bab 2

Wujudkan nama watak-watak utama anda - seorang lelaki dan seorang perempuan. Nama-nama itu hendaklah mudah disebut, memorable dan bermakna. Nama itu sendiri akan menjadi kekuatan watak anda. Nama itu sendiri akan menjadi cerita kepada cerita anda.

Amat penting juga ntuk memastikan bahawa kedua-dua watak ini adalah lelaki DAN perempuan, bukan lelaki DENGAN lelaki atau perempuan SAMA perempuan. Jika tidak, penceritaan anda akan jadi songsang pada skala bumi diterbalikkan 180 darjah.

Contoh: Lelaki - Zakhir, nama panggilan; Jack. Perempuan - Julia, nama panggilan; Yaya.

Ciptakan perwatakan watak-watak anda. Contoh:

Zakhir/Jack - 25 tahun, tak kacak tapi cute, kerja di kedai jual bunga/bridal, rambut pacak-pacak, suka makan nasi lemak tanpa sambal.

Julia/Yaya - 25 tahun, tak cantik tapi comel, jurulatih taekwando, rambut panjang-nak-mampos, suka makan cupcake pink.

Bab 3

Fikirkan jalan cerita secara kasar. Contoh:

- Jack selamatkan Yaya dari diganggu dato' gatal.
- Yaya selamatkan Jack dari dibuli mat rempit.
- Jack dan Yaya saling membenci, tak tahu lah sebab apa - will figure this out later.
- Jack nak belajar taekwando, kena buli dengan Yaya.
- Adik Yaya nak kahwin guna khidmat bridal Jack, Jack buli Yaya balik.
- Seorang gadis minat Jack.
- Yaya jeles.
- Ex Yaya nak baik-baik semula.
- Jack jeles.
- Yaya selamatkan Jack dari disabotaj dato' gatal.
- Jack selamatkan Yaya dari diculik mat rempit.
- Jack dan Yaya jatuh cinta pulak....

Bab 4

Mula tulis. Pasang angan-angan tentang rupa cover novel anda.

Bab 5

Tulis. Rangkakan blurp yang catchy. Contoh:

Jack VS. Yaya. Nasi lemak VS. cupcake. Seni susun bunga VS. Seni lipat orang. Cute VS. comel. Cinta VS. benci. Apakah?

Bab 6

Tulis lagi. Siapkan sinopsis yang enigmatik. Give out everything but reveal nothing. (Or should it be the other way around?)

Contoh: Er, sila fikir sendiri sebagai latihan.

Bab 7

Tulis sampai lebam. Boleh lah mula berangan fasal royalti.

Bab 8

Tulis 'and they live happily ever after. The End.' Sila berlatih ntuk sesi autograf/bertemu peminat-yang-sudi di pesta buku akan datang.

Bab 9

Peram. Paling sekejap pun dalam sebulan. Sambil itu, sila banyakkan membaca. Baca lah apa-apa pun - novel cinta orang lain, books on the craft of writing, on editing, majalah, etc. Boleh juga menonton filem atau drama atau pementasan. Kaedah ini dapat membantu anda ntuk melihat hasil penulisan anda (yang sedang diperam) dalam perspektif yang lebih kreatif dan kritis.

Juga paling penting, to take your mind off the work for a little while. Relax! Anda sudah hampir menyiapkan sebuah novel cinta.

Relax. Boleh?

Bab 10

Review hasil peraman anda. Edit. Re-write. Paling kurang, gunakan tempoh satu bulan untuk kerja-kerja edit dan re-writing.

Bab 11

Peram lagi, minimum sebulan. Baca buku banyak-banyak lagi.

Bab 12


Edit. Re-write. Sampai lebam. Sampai boleh tulis 'The End' balik.

Epilog


Jangan ingat kerja anda sudah siap. Hantar manuskrip kepada editor ntuk proses cantas dan/atau penambahbaikan. Bersedialah ntuk menerima kritikan/komen/pandangan ntuk memastikan manuskrip anda mencapai kualiti terbaik.

Think positive. Be positive. Work smart. Write (or re-write) hard.

SIAP!!!

Re-submit to editor. Tunggu novel anda diterbitkan. Teruskan latihan ntuk sesi autograf.

Sudah boleh fikir novel cinta yang baharu.

Setelah novel cinta anda diterbitkan, sila google 'tajuk novel cinta + nama pena anda' ntuk maklumbalas selanjutnya. Anda boleh juga update Facebook dan tunggu Friend Request dari gadis-gadis... ooppss!

Huahuahua

Terima kasih.

Single & Tak Berkucing




Sesuatu.
Something.
Yang tercari-cari.
Somewhere.
Untuk seseorang.
Someone.
Yang tertentu.
Somehow.

L


Ini lanjutan daripada post status ku di Facebook:

Semalam, waktu ku beli burger-daging-cheese-tamau-sayur, ada sa-orang gadis bertanya kepada teman sembangnya (budak laki-laki tak sebaya); 'Mengapa lelaki suka permainkan perasaan perempuan?' Budak laki-laki belum baligh itu dengan selambanya jawab; 'Sebab perempuan ramai sangat kat dunia ni.'

Boleh?

Ku tak mau mengulas jawapan budak itu. Terpulang kepada beliau yang menjawab. Kalau nak tanya dengan lanjut, cari lah beliau.

Kerna, dalam hati ku jawab; 'Kalau tak (lelaki mainkan perasaan perempuan), tak ada lah novel cinta.'

Boleh?

Kemudian pada status itu, ada yang bertanya; 'how about perempuan mainkan perasaan lelaki?'

Bagaimana?

Jarang ada novel cinta Melayu yang ditulis daripada perspektif laki-laki yang dipermainkan perempuan, kan? Atau memang tiada satu pun? Lalu ku dicabar ntuk menulis itu.

Gila!

Ku belum (harap-harap tak akan pernah) dipermain perempuan! Ku tak tahu bagaimanakah rasanya derita itu. Tak akan ku fahami juga.

Jadi ku tanya kalian di luar sana; pernahkah anda (perempuan) permainkan lelaki? Iaitu bila si laki-laki jadi LOSER. Iaitu bila perempuan tak lagi jadi LEMAH semata-mata. Boleh?

P/S: entri ini agak negatif, kan?

Sedang


WAH! Dewasa ini ku sungguh rajin ntuk update blog! huahuahua

Sebenarnya, ku sedang melatih diri ntuk mewujudkan satu rutin secara harian. Walaupun sekadar satu jam, ku rasa ku perlu biasakan diri ntuk menulis semula. Jadual kerja rasmi ku pun sudah berubah. Bukan lagi pakai syif seperti sebelumnya. Kini ku masuk kerja jam 8 pagi dan pulang jam 5 petang. Keluar rumah seawal 6.45 pagi dan kembali selewat 7 petang. Lima hari seminggu. Jadi sekarang ku hanya ada waktu malam hingga jam12 ntuk menulis. Kecuali ntuk hari-hari minggu di mana ku boleh menulis seharian jika tidak keluar bersosial.

Jadi, ku menulislah!

Rutin ini sebagai prekursor ntuk penulisan ku yang sedang terbengkalai. Yang selalu terjadi kepada ku ialah, apabila ku sudah lama tak menulis, ku akan ambil masa lebih lama ntuk kembali menulis lagi. But once I started, it will be hard for me to stop. A word can be transformed to a dialogue to a conversation to a drama to a chapter to a full-length novel. A commitment.

Ku akan jadi tak tenang kalau tak menulis. Ku sanggup skip sesi futsal/karaoke/late-night-supper/bowling/shopping etc just so I could work on the next chapter. And in between I would either write, re-write or read.

Dan sekarang juga, ku sedang berusaha ntuk menyambung kerja-kerja bertangguh (bukan TERtangguh sebab memang ku sengaja tangguh!) akibat penyakit writer's block ku.

Langkah pertama - cari sebab ntuk menulis. For the time being, ntuk mengisi masa sebelum ku ditugaskan secara rasmi di bawah bahagian kerja ku yang sebetulnya.

Langkah kedua - menulis. Kini ku menulis di blog.

Langkah ketiga - menulis. Er, boleh tak ku betul-betul menulis selepas study ntuk ujian berkomputer LDL ku nanti? (Ya, ku sedang ikut kelas memandu.)

Dan sebenarnya ku sekadar mahu memberitahu yang ku sedang belajar memandu.

huahuahua

Tulis & tulis semula


No thinking - that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is... to write, not to think!

(Finding Forrester, 2000)

Ku ambil quote di atas dari status Facebook teman-musuh ku, Green Peace. Ku setuju dengan kenyataan tersebut. Kalau nak tulis, tulis. Panduan yang sangat straight-to-the-point! Yes. That's whot I should do. Just write. From my heart. Worry about the plausibility of the storyline/narcissistic characters/cheesy dialogues/skeletal descriptions/happy ending, later.

Just write, write, write and write.

Finish the story first.

Peram.

Then, RE-write.

Only then you do the thinking.

And I always believe that novels are not written. They are RE-written.

Think about whether Chapter 15 should be Chapter 1. Or whether Character B should be meshed up with Character Z. Or should he say 'I think I love you' instead of 'I love you, most ardently'. Or to describe that 'big, gray elephant' as just 'an elephant'. Or to have all my characters living happily ever after.

Think. Do re-write. Think. Revise. Do re-write. Think. Re-write. Re-write. Re-write.

Sampai lebam.

The truth is, L.U.V.E had undergone a major re-write before I even dared to call it a novel. The same goes to 1 4 3. Both of them had been bludgeoned to near-death. Well, parts of them. Here and there. I'm not such a bad writer, am I?

When re-writing, you just have to be cruel to yourself. Editors are crueler. So you better buck up. Be ruthless. Re-organizezeze messy storyline. Kill off purposeless characters. Cut short lagging dialogues. Torn down bulky descriptions.

Do whotever that is necessary.

This is how I do it. I am a writer. No. Re-writer.

And ALHAMDULILLAH, in the end I am a published author. Er, re-writer.

Of penguins


Penguins are social creatures. Pingu Toha ialah gejala sosial.

There are at least 18 different species of penguins. Pingu Toha is the only unknown species.... Dia ialah seorang penguin.

Penguins live in large colonies called rookeries. Pingu Toha lives alone in an apartment.

Penguins waddle when they walk. Pingu Toha uses public transportations (for the time being).

Penguins communicate with each other through body language. Pingu Toha communicates through phone calls, SMSes, e-mails & Facebook's status. He doesn't twit.

Penguins spend most of their lives in water. Pingu Toha spends his in fictions.

Most penguins can swim about 15 miles per hour. Pingu Toha tak pandai berenang.

Penguins leap out of water while swimming. Pingu Toha masuk air dan tak keluar-keluar sudahnya.

Penguins can hold their breath for about 20 minutes under water. Pingu Toha memang tak akan bernafas dah dalam air.

Penguins can walk faster than humans. Pingu Toha talks faster than humans.

Baby penguins have soft feathers known as down. Pingu Toha belum kahwin.

Writer's block


I really hate to admit this. I am against writing something so demotivating. But I can't deny it anymore. I'm having another bout of writer's block! Seriously, even if I forced myself to write, I could not do it or would not do it. Like this entry. I have been planning to update my blog for quite sometime. I logged on, opened up a new post, fingers on the keypad and ended up staring blankly at the screen. It's just not happening!

Suddenly I came to a realisation that - I CAN'T WRITE!

I have 3-4-8 story ideas in mind. But I just cannot commit myself to any of them! Kiki No.5. Ada & Evan, Saga Ophir. Amar. Hero Hikayat. 365 1/4. Advencer Seorang Beruang. Gadis Klasik. Bukan Hero. Bukan Nama Sebenar. And a few others. It's not that I don't have the time. Or space. Or purpose.

I just don't have the will. And the inspiration. And the thrill.

I JUST CAN'T WRITE!

Maybe not yet.

I've lost my muse. And I CAN'T WRITE!

The last time this happened, it took me almost one year to recover. That was after L.U.V.E. I couldn't really write anything proper after my first book. Poetry? Too mushy. Blog updates? Too technical. Another book? I can't place a word.

Sepertinya, waktu ku tulis akhiran L.U.V.E. itu, L juga turut ternoktah di situ. Seolah-olah ku tulis L.U.V.E sehabis nyawa seorang L. Untuk L.U.V.E., L lah muse ku. Sebab L, ku menulis L.U.V.E. Dan selepas itu L hilang. Tak kunjung kembali lagi.

I just can't write anymore.

But of course, the were other circumstances which hindered me from continuing with the second book. I was promoted and transferred. I had to move to a new place.

I was alone. Without L. Without a muse. And I was scared to write again.

And then came N.

She was in a relationship with someone. Then she's not. Then she's back with him again. Then she's not. She's on. Then he's off. Again and again and again.

But I think I was in love with her, secretly but openly. Macamane tuh?

She became my muse for 1 4 3.

But she left for UK before I finished my second book. I never told her my feelings for her. It didn't matter. Just the thought of loving her was enough to sustain my fantasy - in this context, creativity, bukan mimpi basah occay! It kept me going through hours of late night writing and countless days of re-writing.

On her last day, I only said, "Thank you for letting me be your friend."

And after that, I managed to finish 1 4 3.

It has been two months now and I haven't done any serious writing as yet.

I had quit my previous job. Got myself another job, which by the way, was unexpected. Luckily I didn't have to move.

But I just couldn't really write.

Again, I have lost my muse.

Maksudnya, ku harus jatuh cinta lagi?

Siapakah?

huahuahua